Venting About Forgetting

Here I am. Sitting staring at this blank blogger screen and thinking what should I write about tonight? I've been sitting here with this page open for hours now with nothing to write about til....now....

While the husband has been on duty all night long, here it is, 0130, and I am browsing facebook. That's enough to get my brain working enough to be able to blog about something...

Okay, I get it, Halloween was the other night, but that doesn't mean you can just skank around all over my news feed with pictures. I don't want to see your "sexy" outfits. I don't find them too "sexy", maybe that's just me.

Man I sound really angry tonight. But for reallllll!! I have seen so many skanky pictures recently that have been floating around the internet of people that I know. If it's not from Halloween, it's from clubbing, partying, etc, etc...

It's weird because I was never the type to ever flaunt myself the way that most of the girls out there do...can you say class?

Am I such a humbug because I am now that old married woman? Sure. I just wish people would see how bad they actually look. No one cares. Really, put some clothes on, and stop making yourself look so, for a lack of a better term, easy.

I remember my dad telling me a guy likes a woman more when they have class...

Stop forgetting you're a lady. Remember your clothes and have pride in yourself because you're making the rest of us look bad....

Done.

So I've come to learn a lot about people in my 22 years of life...

Not saying that I'm old...

I'm only saying that I've lived and I've learned. I've learned the easy way, but I've also learned the hard way. Being a military wife, or just in the military, it forces you to grow up fast.

I've always tried to be the best person I know how to be. I've explained this in my last posts time and time again. That being said, let me tell you about my journey, and in explaining my journey, I know I won't make friends, and I know I'll probably lose some more...but here it goes anyway.

When Evan went into boot camp I had friends in college who couldn't understand why I would just sit and wait on a man for 3 months. They encouraged me to move on, date, and see other people. I turned them down time and time again. I lost these friends over the 3 months of me waiting, all because I supported him. I didn't do them wrong, they just didn't understand. These friends would claim to be my best friends... I went along with the idea of them being my best friends, and even believed them.

However, when it came to marrying my real best friend, my "best friends" ditched me. They didn't support me. At all. They didn't come to our reception, nothing. It really bothered me at first, but then I realized if they really were my friends would they have treated me like that? No. Would they have ditched me for some party for the two of them, right before I left for California? No. Absolutely not.

I haven't talked to them, much, if at all.

Then you have the mil-spouses/girlfriends/fiancées (or whatever).

I became good friends with one lady who didn't know a whole lot about the Marine Corps, so I took lead and showed her the ropes. Her and her, then boyfriend, were new to the Corps so I taught her everything I knew. I didn't do this because I felt like I had to. I just did it because I wanted to. Then, they get married, send me an invite and everything. Unfortunately, I was unable to attend (it was out of state), but I supported them throughout the whole thing. A few months down the line this friend calls me out on a facebook status....tells me I don't support my husband among other things. What. Excuse me? Just because I am complaining about a certain situation -not pertaining to you- doesn't mean I don't support my husband. Mind your own business.

We're no longer friends.

Then, coming to California, I have met some great people. People I'd do anything for. People I'd go out of my way to do things for, people I have gone out of my way to do things for. I have never done anyone wrong and I've always thought that they'd give me the shirt off their back. I thought I was personable, I thought I was liked. I was proved wrong again.

My husband gets here tomorrow and we leave Monday morning. Saying that, we decided we'd try to get everyone together for one last "coffee" morning while I was here. Well, we had a not-so-great turnout which really threw me for a loop. It really made me feel not-so-special anymore. It hurt.

Don't get me wrong, I have had some great experiences with people also, but today, I'm here to say that I'm done.

I'm done letting people into my life. You are no longer worth it to me and in the end I don't matter to you, so why should you matter to me? You don't. I'm finished. I am building walls, so stay out.

The people that do matter to me will stay in my life only because I know that I matter to them and that they are worth my time. Relationships work two ways, folks. Friendships are relationships too.

I'm done being hurt. I'm done being disappointed.

There I said it. I said how I feel. Is that what you were waiting on? You're not going to walk all over me again. Ever again.

"At this point I would so much rather have a few good friends than a lot of fake friends." -Lauren Conrad

"I've learned that people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel." -Maya Angelou

Mean Girls

Let me start off by saying people -astound- me.

Saying that, let me go on to explain...err...complain.

I've been hanging out with a pretty good group of girls recently. Yes, I said it, I've been hanging with the ladies. It's strange to me because I would rather hang with the guys...probably for this exact reason I am blogging tonight.

What drives girls to gossip and make fun of other girls? Why are people so mean? Do you think it's right to make fun, gossip, and just say mean and outrageous things about other people? Especially people that you don't know, but are in the same situation and lifestyle that you are in? Absolutely not. Or so I thought.

When I was little I was always told "don't judge a book by it's cover". Now let me say, I am not miss innocent. I have faults of my own and I have lived and am still living and learning from my mistakes.

I just don't understand why people think it's humorous to sit and make fun of people. When us girls hang out we don't make fun of people...ever. Is that because we are more mature then that? Or is it that we are just nicer? I'm not sure. I think it's more along the lines of that we are comfortable in our own skin. We don't need to put others down to make us feel better about ourselves.

What are we all actresses on "Mean Girls" and we have to be a part of a "Burn Book"?

No. I think NOT.

It's just wrong.

Grow up.

End of story.