Blessed

Laying in bed tonight, with my husband by my side, I started thinking about how I got in the position I am today. How did I manage to end up with one of the greatest men on Earth? And, how did I get where I am today? Why aren't I out on the street, or homeless? (Of course, I was (and still am) wide awake and high on caffeine).

I was unable to come up with any other logical answer to those questions, other than that I had been blessed. I truly have been blessed my entire life.

Since the minute I was born into this scary world, I have always had someone to take care of me and make sure I was happy. I am so thankful for all of the people in my life, I could never ever express my gratitude.

My parents are the most caring parents I know. They've always been there for me and my brother. They're still there for us, and now my husband. I am so thankful that they were able to give me the life that I have been given.

I know some people look at their family, and the way they were raised, and think "when I have kids, I want them to have a better life then me". That's what my parents did for my brother and I. They truly gave us a life better then theirs. They went through tough times in their life, as most people do, but they turned it around and proved to the world that they could conquer life and show their children it could be done. They never quit. They never quit on us, and they never quit on each other.

See, that's what I want. I strive to be like my mommy and daddy. Most people wouldn't say that, or wouldn't like to admit to that, but I do. I want to be just like them and I want my kids to have a life like mine.

I will never quit on my husband, my marriage, my family or my lifestyle. I think that's how our military lifestyle has been so 'easy' and not ended in a divorce or a separation, like some people. The life that we live is not easy at all. It's not easy on me and it's not easy on him. You have to have a one-of-a-kind love and work as a team in order to get through the times of separation.

As I get older and start to think about having children, I do question if I'll be a good enough mom, but then I look at my parents and my confidence comes back. I know I'll be okay, and if I'm not, at least I have them to help point me in the right direction.

And my husband? I don't really know how I ended up with him, or how he ended up with me. I know I'm a tough one to handle sometimes, and I don't think I'd be able to handle me. It just goes to show I am so blessed. He has a huge heart.

So, God, thank you so much for giving me such an amazing family and such a great husband. You have blessed me with so many things and I am forever grateful.

Milspouse Friday!

I found this on Mrs. S' blog, but make sure you go check out Wife of a Sailor so you can link up and read about other milspouses too!

1. What is your spouse’s best feature?

I'm going to assume this is physical? So, I'm gonna tell you that my hubbys best features are his back, soft lips, and his soft hands. :)

2. Mild, Medium or Hot sauce?

I am a medium hot sauce chick! I can't deal with the heat of hot and mild isn't enough for me....so stick me in the middle and you get medium!!

3. What is the worst uniform you had to wear for a job?

The only job that I had to wear a uniform for was a soccer referee. That wasn't so bad. I can say I hated working for DHL in the sort center where I wore a cut off shirt, basketball shorts, and steel toed boots every day during summer. Talk about gross.

4. You have invisible powers… where is the first place you would go?

I would probably go check out what it's -really- like in the Marine Corps. My husband says I don't know what it's like, so I'd like to go check it out myself! ;). Plus, if he got in trouble, I think it'd be funny to watch him without his knowledge. LOL. Don't judge me! :-p

5. What’s left on your “to do” list for this summer?

Really, there's not much left on my "to do" list for this summer. We are getting a PDS soon and I will have to do some researching on places to live before we get there, but that's about it (besides trying to find a job, but what's new).

Marriage

I came across something today that made me open my eyes to a wonderful little thing called marriage. It made me realize that my husband and I both need to appreciate one another more.

I've learned that we not only need to appreciate one another, but we need to cherish the little things in life. Instead of focusing on the big things in life, like how much money is in the bank, or how much gas is in the car, we need to focus on the little details in life.

Someone also asked me this week how I liked marriage.

Let me tell you, I don't fit the status quo of someone who "should be" married. I'm young. I didn't let that stop me from being with the love of my life.

Also, being married to a Marine is lots different then being married to a civilian. Marines are trained to hold in emotion. My husband does not exalt as much emotion as he used to, or as much as I'd like, but I love him with my whole heart and I wouldn't change anything. I have nearly learned how to tell the difference between his love for me and his job. That's a challenge within itself and a whole different story.

I love being married, but it is a battle sometimes.

Marriage is hard. Very hard. It's probably one of the hardest things you'll ever go through. I've always been told there's a few things that will test and try your life and they are; 1) getting married, 2) buying a house, and 3) having a baby.

I've been married almost a year now and we have had our ups and downs. Sure, we fight, but who doesn't. I'd be lying if I said we never fight and we have a fairy tale marriage...pffft...yeah right.

Marriage is a battle of giving and taking. It's not a constant -give give give- on one person's side and a -take take take- from the other person. How would that be fair? I think this is the hardest thing to grasp as husband and wife. It's still hard for us to wrap our mind around, but if you understand the concept your relationship will be awesome in the end.

If you both take the time to listen when you don't necessarily want to it will make things so much easier. I cannot express how vital communication is. Not only listening, but talking. Tell each other what's on your mind. What's bothering you? How can you fix it? Don't place blame, but work it out fairly, fix it together. Give and take. Have patience! Marriage will test and try your patience to your last straw!

Don't forget to say I love you every day. Evan and I say I love you every single day, a million times a day. And, don't let it become habit. Stop yourself and tell your spouse, "hey, I really meant that". Remind them how special they really are to you.

Don't ever go to bed mad, upset, angry, or whatever you like to call it. From day one we have promised each other that we won't ever go to bed upset. If you do, it only causes for a bad night and a bad morning with a bad day following. Don't stir on your problems, resolve them. I'm only speaking from experience.

Also, if you are religious, try to make God the head of your household. This is something that my husband and I have struggled with. We are both Christians, but because we have moved around a lot, we haven't been able to find a church. This isn't an excuse, and it isn't excusable, but I will admit, we need to work on it. Christ is so important in a household. He will get you through any problems you may have.

Lastly, remind one another that you need them in your life. Tell them that you are proud of them. Show affection in not only the way you touch them, but in your words. Mean everything you say and do. Love one another.

Vent Session

Let me just vent...that's why I have this blog, right?!

Lately I've been having my days. You know, those days. I've been really missing my husband a ton. I know he's stateside, and frankly I'm pretty tired of being told I should be thankful that he's not deployed. What makes you think I'm not thankful? I mean, really, who wants their husband deployed? Not me. I'm simply saying that I miss him.

He's not an 8 hour drive from me, he's a 36 hour drive (straight through) from me. He's a plane ticket. I could go see him, that's what gets to me. I could see him if I just had the money. Which really gets to me, I moved away from my job back in my home state and now, with the economy, I haven't been able to find a job. My degree is pointless, I feel useless, and we all know military pay is not the highest paying job. Living on one income is pretty darn hard!

So, please, don't tell me to be thankful he's stateside, because I am. I never wish a deployment on anyone, ever. I do, however, believe that God choose these fighting men and women for a reason, just like He choose us spouses to support them back home for a reason. We are all a part of the few and the proud. Not too much longer 'til I'm reunited with my husband...less than a week 'til my visit! Thank goodness! :)

Day 12: Tickling my fancy all the way to NC

Alright, so I've done it. I've failed at updating my 30 day project! Argh. I'm sorry...AGAIN.

So today's day is another "tickle my fancy" day. So what other way to than to give everyone an update as to what's going on with my life!!

Evan is now in North Carolina for additional training...mmhm...go figure. I'm still stuck in California and thinking, what was that reason I didn't go back to Ohio to stay for a bit again? Because, if I were in Ohio it'd only be a 10 hour drive. Hmmpf. Go figure. Oh well. So, to get back on topic, Evan has very crappy cell phone service! It drives me up the wall! He finally was able to skype with me, but that was when he was in Florida, -on his very LAST day in Florida-. Go figure, again. So today, we spent like 87 hours trying to get skype to work again in NC, but it would freeze and be lagging or it'd just say, "screw you guys" and give up on us. Sigh.

My day did get better though!! I finally sat down and budgeted so tightly that I can now take a trip to see my husband!! I'm so stoked! I get to see him in a couple weeks and I couldn't be happier! My countdown has begun. Uh-oh...did she say countdown?!?! Mmhm. Which that leads me to my next topic...countdowns! Remember how I said I had -no- timeline for Evan's training to be over? Well, guess what? I do now! YAY! He'll be done in Septemeber. I better not post the exact date for OPSEC reasons, but yep, September! It couldn't get here sooner.

Oh, yeah, my birthday is Tuesday and my beloved sent me a basket of chocolates from the Rocky Mountain Chocolate Company! I have chocolate covered strawberries, pineapples, cherries, a carmel M&M apple, and some milk chocolates! I think he's trying to fatten me up! ;). Haha. No, my husband knows me better than anyone in the world!! I have the biggest sweet tooth on the planet! :)

Welp, now that you know I'm tickling my fancy all the way to North Carolina, I think my job here is done!! Hope all of you are doing well!!

Day 11: Picture "Post It" Perfect

Welp, on comes day 11 of my 30 Day Project and it's also Post-it Note Tuesday. So I haven't exactly been real good at keeping up with my blog. I have enough trouble keeping up with my own -real- life! haha. That was funny, you should at least giggle. Okay, so maybe it was lame? Anyway, I figure I can do both of my little memes in one post...so here goes nothin'!

Day 11 suggests that I post a recent picture of myself. Well, I have lots of pictures of me, but I'm always with someone, so here's a picture of my brother and I. He just received his High School Diploma in May and I am holding my degree that I received in December. :) This was taken when I went to Ohio a couple weeks ago.

Alright. On to Post It Note Tuesday....

Day 10: 10 Years Ago, Anyone?

A photo (pic; hence the title) taken of me over 10 years ago is day 10 of the 30 day project. And here it is;

Wasn't I such a cutie?!

And just for fun, here's a picture of my husband over 10 years ago;

He was such a handsome little boy!

A Packing Whirlwind

What a day it has been. I'm still packing numerous boxes and every so often I find an accessory of Evan's 8 million things to do with the Marine Corps. I've finally just got together everything and thrown it into a shoe box. You can tell I didn't organize that stuff! If I did organize it, he would have everything he needed in Pensacola. Hmm. Go figure.

I've also been feeling quite silly packing up things that are fragile. For instance, I packed up our glasses (cups) and I used our dish towels and plastic bags to protect them! Hopefully that works. Improvise, adapt, and overcome? Yeah I think so!!! hahaha.

Then, I get to the canisters on our kitchen counter and think, hmmm does brown sugar and/or flour go bad? I came to the conclusion that I didn't think so and just packed them away instead of throwing the contents away. Yes, this is me, I'm the keep-everything-it-might-come-in-handy-cheap-person! My husband gets so mad. It's like, Jess, it is only $2, throw it away and we'll get some later. Nah, babe, I'll just keep it! That $2 will add up some day!

On that same topic of keeping everything...I've kept most of the boxes we had from random stuff. For example, when we moved here, my father-in-law helped us move and had lots of things shipped to us. What did I do?! I kept almost all of the boxes! I even collapsed quite a few of them so we could store them easier! I also kept 80% of the boxes that things came in. For example, I have these boxes; tupperware, george foreman, pots and pans, glassware, printer, etc. It makes my husband so mad that I've kept almost every practical box known to man, but hey, I figure we'd be moving a lot, so why not!?! And guess who was right?! This girl! Mmmhmm...Those boxes are coming in handy now!!! Ohhh, burn! HA! Oh and another thing I made my husband do...I saw a big bin (the big plastic ones with a lid) near the dumpster one day and this is how the conversation went;

Me: "Hey, I think we could use that!"

Him: "Then you're digging it out of the dumpster."

Me: "Just pick it up and take it upstairs."

Him: "Okay, fine, but I'm done with it after that."

Me: "Wait, let me see what it looks like inside."

-opening it up-

Me: "Ew, that's gross."

Him: "Okay it's going back in the trash!"

Me: "No no no! You can clean it out!"

Him: "Okay fine".

-takes it upstairs and throws it in the extra bedroom-

Now, you see, he was SUPPOSED to clean it out. Guess who didn't clean it out?! Yeah, he left it for ME to clean out. Go figure. So now it's in our bathtub waiting on me to come clean it out. Too bad we don't have a hose. Grrr. Maybe I could give the cat a bath in it?!?! Ha! Just kidding!

Welp, I have a mess of an apartment to get back to. Gotta turn my music up loud and dance around singing, errr, I mean packing! Have a lovely day!

Post it Note Tuesday; My First Post

Came across this idea from The Wifey through Supa Mommy. I love it, so here comes my first post!

Being a Marine Wife

While surfing blogs today I came across a blog that caught my attention. It's Married to a Sailor: The Journey of a Navy Wife. She is hosting a competition, and I'm all for competitions! So here we go, my assignment, write about what being a military/Marine wife is like for me...

What being a Marine wife is like for me;

It's a blessing in many ways, but can be very stressful. I wish I could sum it all up in one word, but I really can't. Although we have only been married for 7 months, I have felt like we've been married a million years. Throughout the entire time of his enlistment, I've grown, we've grown. This all means we have grown closer and our marriage can survive. With lots of couples they don't make that "long distance relationship" status. We don't have that problem, we know it will work. It's nice to know my husband is such a great guy and has so much courage. He is one of the few good men. Ha. I love that saying!

Though it can be a struggle when he's gone, it's an amazing feeling to see him again. It's like meeting him for the first time and sharing more memories in different places around the world. Traveling is awesome and I love to see different places and being able to spend that time with my husband in a new location is the best ever! When he is gone, I find myself checking my phone a million times a day, I keep it on loud wherever I go, just in case I do get a phone call.

It's a since of pride being the wife to a Marine. Seeing him in that uniform melts my heart. When I'm on his side and we're in public I beam with a smile and glow with pride. I would shout to the world that my husband is in the Marine Corps if I could. He's a true American Hero and he's one of a kind. Whenever I hear any kind of patriotic song, whether it's the Star Spangled Banner or America the Beautiful, I swell up with emotions. I even get teary eyed. Whenever I look at an American Flag I beam with pride. I have an extreme amount of pride for our amazing country. I even get chills when I see a Marine Corps billboard or see a commercial. That sexy voice that says "The Few, The Proud, The Marines" is the best sound ever.

I may travel all over the place throughout an enlistment term, but I get to meet new people. These people become my very best friends. They are a one-of-a-kind group. It's nice to have people that understand, and have been there, and walked in my shoes. However, military spouses know not to get too close, be able to leave those and continue to stay in contact with the amazing friends that you have met.

Being a military/Marine wife means that I won't see my family or friends from "home" as much as I like. It means I have to adapt, but it's good to get away from the friends that "pretend" to be your friend. You weed out the true friends to the fake ones.

It also means I have to be careful about when to plan for a family. We do not have kids right now. Although many great women have had children with their military husband, I'm not sure if it's the right thing for us just yet. I want children badly, but when he's set to deploy and we don't know what's next in his career, we aren't sure if we should have children just yet. It's a tough decision and we're unsettled on it right now.

On the financial end...oh man. It's nice to get those discounts and get nice tax returns. Or just go to the commissary and get tax free groceries, especially when you live in a bankrupt state with high sales tax. Oh, and the gas, on base, is always 10 cents cheaper then off. It's nice to be able to have the health care that we have, and all of those great benefits.

Although we will and have spent a lot of our relationship apart, it always tends to make our relationship stronger. Being a Marine wife means being tough and standing by his side no matter what. It's holding on to the memories for an amount of time and it means always having a countdown. I stand amongst the silent ranks, and I am a very proud Marine Wife.

Things are different this time

Well, Evan left for Pensacola today.

But, let me start off by saying I am very thankful that he is stateside. Do not confuse what I am about to say with me not being thankful, blessed, etc.

Things are different this time. I've said my fair shares of "see ya later"s, but this time it's different. A lot different. We've been married nearly a year now and been living together for 5 months, and never went a day without seeing one another. Our love has grown and changed from 'puppy love' to a more mature love.

Coming home to an empty apartment was an irking feeling. I just fell to my knees and bawled. Seeing his stuff, having his stuff, and knowing he was just here sunk my heart. I had no one to come home to. Bentley has tried his best to comfort me. He's laid in my lap and meowed at me, like asking, "what's wrong mommy?". He knows something's up.

My parents aren't right down the road. None of my family is, instead they're 2500 miles across country. My Marine Corps family is here, but I haven't gotten extremely close to them yet. While they've been so nice and welcoming, I just haven't opened up. I'm not much of an extrovert.

Some people would ask why would I stay out here in California instead of going "home" to Ohio? Well, let me tell you this. Ohio doesn't feel like my "home" anymore. My "home" is hear. I settled down with my husband for 5 months and this place feels more like "home" then Ohio ever will. At the same time, California doesn't feel like "home" to me either. It's like I have no home without my husband here. It's just me, Bentley, and our stuff.

I'm not going to lie, I'm so scared to be here by myself and I have so much going through my head. I know I have lots of friends, but ugh. I just want to scream.

I yearn to settle down more than anything and I loathe the fact that I have to move so much and I feel like I will never have a home. However, this just goes back to my last post. I married an amazing man, not because I wanted this military life, but because he is truly my soul mate. I love him so much and nothing will take that away.

As this change in my life comes and goes, I know I'll make it. I know I'm blessed that he is stateside, but it doesn't make things change. It doesn't make me miss him less or not wish things were different.

I don't really know how to put this "different" feeling into words, or how to express my feelings, I just know I'm feeling them. I miss him. I love him. Duty calls and duty sucks. This is why I stand among the silent ranks. I enlisted right by his side when I said "I do".

I can't help but cry. I'm not as strong as I wish I were. I'm not the perfect Marine Wife, but I think we all have our imperfections, and really? Who wants their husband away?

To make things worse, we still don't know the duration of the schools. Yes, schoolS. There will be an A school in Pensacola and a C school somewhere else. No idea where that "somewhere else" is.

Sorry that this is written in no particular order, I'm all over the place and so is this blog. But, for now, I will remain singing, "This is my temporary home", and remember that he is always here in heart, even not in person.

I love you, Evan.

PS- I've forgotten to mention this a million times, but BIG THANKS to the Wifey for creating my layout. Go visit her http://www.thewifeyblogs.com/ Thanks again!

Yep, that's the Marine Corps

So, a lot of you may be wondering what my latest status updates are about, well let me tell you about it.

Evan has been in the Marine Corps for over a year now. He's still in training status. Why? Ha! Well, let me start from the beginning. He signed a 5 year contract and picked a "Cryptological Linguestics" MOS for his job. That's all fine and good 'til you see how long that training is. It's a little over a year. He got here in May, started class in August, and if he would have been able to pass that dreaded language called, Pashto, he would have graduated from here (CA) in September and then would have went to Texas for additional training. Well, that isn't the case here. He was dropped from class in January for a "lack of ability", which -is- a common, very common, thing here.

So now, the fun part begins. The Marine Corps assigned him a new MOS last week while we were in Ohio visiting family. The only information they gave us was that it's in Pensacola, Fl and he has to be there by May 10th. We didn't have any other information other then that until we started researching. We found out that Pensacola is a Naval Air Station, so he'd be doing something in aviation, or maybe even intell. We had our fingers crossed for intell.

Well, just yesterday he was given his MOS title. It's Avionics Ordinance. Hmm. Researched it to find out that he'd be "loading bombs on to planes". Also we had to do some research to see just how long he'd be there. 30 days for the core class, not bad, right? Well, here comes the salt in the wound...He'd have to go to a secondary school after that, and we have no idea where or how long he'll be there. So, we are taking it step by step and trying to be optimistic about everything.

Then, we get to thinking. What is Jessica supposed to do? Well, good question. All of our stuff is in California, including our cat, my car, our couch, and just about ehhh everything. So, because I am not on his orders I have to stay here or fly back to Ohio. Ha. What would make the best since is for me to find a job and stay with Bentley (the cat) and have a car to drive around. So, that's what I have decided to do. There's just no way I'm going to drive my car back to Ohio with a cat BY MYSELF. No, not happening. I'm also not paying for a sedative to knock the cat out so I can fly to Ohio, just to get there to have no car and make poor Bentley and my cat back home fight.

Don't get me wrong, I'd love to come to Ohio and stay for the entire time Evan is gone, but it's just not logical in my mind. Besides, I don't want to bother anyone by having to borrow their vehicle, or stay at their house. I know I'd be more than welcome, but I don't like to depend on anyone. So for now, I am staying in the Golden State. I have a few friends out here that have promised to keep me occupied, so hopefully that will help.

I just feel like I can never win. I chase him to the west coast, just to see him go back to the east coast. Hopefully these next several months pass quickly.

Welcome to the life of a Marine Wife.

Fairy tale? I think so.

So it's been a while since I have posted anything, or even looked on my blog, but I figure I don't have anything else to do, so why not tell you about how I come to met my husband. Oh, wait, who am I kidding? I have tons to do, but just do not feel like doing them. Ha. Procrastination might as well be my middle name. Jessica Procrastination Resor....sounds great!

To get back on subject, Evan and I met in June 2006. I had just graduated from high school, just got out of a relationship, and I had nothing better to do then to work all summer. I hated that dreadful place, but was making more than enough on the hour. Every day I would wake up and have a battle with myself. It just seemed like a huge hassle to go to a place where I would sweat and get dirty. I worked at Airborn/DHL. It was what held our small city economy together, and I hated that place. I had been working there for about a year. I was hard at work, sorting boxes, when my supervisor asked me to go to a different area. The area I was assigned to was an area that I was unfamiliar with, so it took me a while to find it. I was looking all around for this area, and I was just about to give up when I finally saw the stairs to it. So, I walked up and started sorting more boxes when I felt like someone was staring at me. I looked to my right and there was a puny kid with spikey hair looking my way. He had the biggest grin on his face. I thought to myself, "do I know him". I came to the conclusion that I had no idea who he was, so I decided to approach him and strike up conversation. Now, we weren't supposed to be talking while we worked, it dropped our "productivity" or something like that. We were trying to be inconspicuous about our talking so they wouldn't send me back, but our conversation was pretty intense. We were bound and determined to find out every detail of one another. Both of us had just gotten out of a relationship so we were both pretty flirty?

I remember exactly what he was wearing. He had a cut off with a giant Pepsi logo and on the back it said "Resor" with a big number "20" on it. I remember because I asked him his name and he was like "Evan" and then I asked his last name and he just pointed to his shirt. It was funny because I was like...umm.."how do you pronounce that?" He laughed and said it for me, but he had to repeat himself several times for me to hear him. The loud conveyor belts were annoying me and all I wanted to do was talk to this guy. As we were talking I kept thinking, "is he gonna ask for my number?". I didn't think he was going to so I took a big step and asked him if he wanted mine. He said yes, so he went and grabbed a scrap piece of paper, which happened to be part of his check stubb, and gave me his. I was worried at first because they were making me leave and he hadn't made it back yet, so I hesitated a little and started to walk out when I saw him round the corner! He passed me and handed me the tiny piece of paper with his phone number. We smiled at each other and I went back to my original area. I wasn't expecting him to hand me HIS number, but I went with it and couldn't stop smiling the rest of the day. When I left work that day I remember getting in my car and as soon as I turned my phone on I called him. It went to voice mail! He was still in work, so I left him a message and he called me back within a couple of hours. I remember thinking, "this guy is totally not my type", but I took the giant leap, as did he, and we hit it off from the very beginning.

Now, tell me that's not a fairy tale right there, ladies and gents? I can't believe it all worked out when we were merely just flirting with one another. Who would have thought! God works in mysterious ways is all I can think of....and that the princess did find her prince!!