Friday, July 23, 2010

Marriage



I came across something today that made me open my eyes to a wonderful little thing called marriage. It made me realize that my husband and I both need to appreciate one another more.
I've learned that we not only need to appreciate one another, but we need to cherish the little things in life. Instead of focusing on the big things in life, like how much money is in the bank, or how much gas is in the car, we need to focus on the little details in life.

Someone also asked me this week how I liked marriage.

Let me tell you, I don't fit the status quo of someone who "should be" married. I'm young. I didn't let that stop me from being with the love of my life.

Also, being married to a Marine is lots different then being married to a civilian. Marines are trained to hold in emotion. My husband does not exalt as much emotion as he used to, or as much as I'd like, but I love him with my whole heart and I wouldn't change anything. I have nearly learned how to tell the difference between his love for me and his job. That's a challenge within itself and a whole different story.

I love being married, but it is a battle sometimes.

Marriage is hard. Very hard. It's probably one of the hardest things you'll ever go through. I've always been told there's a few things that will test and try your life and they are; 1) getting married, 2) buying a house, and 3) having a baby.

I've been married almost a year now and we have had our ups and downs. Sure, we fight, but who doesn't. I'd be lying if I said we never fight and we have a fairy tale marriage...pffft...yeah right.

Marriage is a battle of giving and taking. It's not a constant -give give give- on one person's side and a -take take take- from the other person. How would that be fair? I think this is the hardest thing to grasp as husband and wife. It's still hard for us to wrap our mind around, but if you understand the concept your relationship will be awesome in the end.

If you both take the time to listen when you don't necessarily want to it will make things so much easier. I cannot express how vital communication is. Not only listening, but talking. Tell each other what's on your mind. What's bothering you? How can you fix it? Don't place blame, but work it out fairly, fix it together. Give and take. Have patience! Marriage will test and try your patience to your last straw!

Don't forget to say I love you every day. Evan and I say I love you every single day, a million times a day. And, don't let it become habit. Stop yourself and tell your spouse, "hey, I really meant that". Remind them how special they really are to you.

Don't ever go to bed mad, upset, angry, or whatever you like to call it. From day one we have promised each other that we won't ever go to bed upset. If you do, it only causes for a bad night and a bad morning with a bad day following. Don't stir on your problems, resolve them. I'm only speaking from experience.

Also, if you are religious, try to make God the head of your household. This is something that my husband and I have struggled with. We are both Christians, but because we have moved around a lot, we haven't been able to find a church. This isn't an excuse, and it isn't excusable, but I will admit, we need to work on it. Christ is so important in a household. He will get you through any problems you may have.

Lastly, remind one another that you need them in your life. Tell them that you are proud of them. Show affection in not only the way you touch them, but in your words. Mean everything you say and do. Love one another.



1 comments:

MJ said...

Ah that is so true! I'm not married (yet, just got engaged this week though!) but alrady I know that it's gonna be a challenge. And you are so right, they hold in their emotion and it's not the same as before they joined up. *sigh* But I like this post!

thank you for your comments!