A Loneliness from Hell

Have you ever felt like your world was, per say, crashing down around you? Or that you weren't worth anything to anyone? How about being so lonely that you don't even see a single soul around you?

Well, I've been having one of those weeks. I know, it's only Tuesday. It could only get better from here. Let's hope.

I just have been so discouraged recently. I'm not sure if it's because I just got done seeing my husband a couple weeks ago, and being without him has been a little tough, or what. Fact-of-the-matter-is, I'm still an emotional wreck.

I can't find a job. All I want to do is help my husband support our family. I have tried for nearly EIGHT MONTHS to find a job. I've applied everywhere! My degree that was thousands of dollars is USELESS. I'm useless.

I feel alone in a crowd of people. I always seem to be out of place with no words to help me. I feel lost with an opinion that doesn't matter.

My husband does everything he can do, but he is thousands of miles away. He's the only one that knows the deep crevices of my mind. He's my best friend.

I just don't know what to do. I don't know who to talk to or what to talk about. It's hard for me to open up to someone and not feel like I'm being exposed to the world, and just judged. I'm pitiful and I miss my husband. A lot.

I want to do something, but I don't know what. I can't seem to motivate myself to do anything either. I love to scrapbook, but I haven't made time for it. I haven't been busy, I just don't do it, and I make excuses in the process.

I'm scared, alone, confused, and just miserable. 45 days. I pray I can handle this.

God wouldn't give me anything I cannot handle. I know this.