Who I want to be

Here I am...

Sitting. Thinking. Sitting. Thinking. Sitting some more. Thinking some more.

Who am I? Who do I want to be? When someone says my name, what will they think? What do I want them to think?

I want my name to be a good name. I want to be thought of as a good person. I want to make an lasting impression in someones life. I want to make a difference -and- be a good person at the same time. I want to be a role model. I want to be someone that someone else looks up to or admires.

I know I can't be the perfect person, but on a daily basis I try to be the best person that I know how to be. I do not do this just for the people I love, but for people in general. Everyone needs to be loved and everyone needs to be cared about.

I try to live by the "golden rule". Treat others the way you want to be treated. By all means, I am not perfect, I have my days, and I recognize this, but I sure put every effort into making people happy as much as I can.

I care about people a lot. That may be where I falter and get my heart broken or my hopes too high. I have lost a lot of friends. Friends that I did care and still care greatly about. Whether they care about me is a different story, and frankly, it doesn't matter to me.

I want to be cared for too, but I would give all of my love for someone before ever asking for love in return. I hope people see this in me because it's truly how I feel. I wear my emotions on my sleeve and have love for others engraved in me.

I want to be known as a good person. A person who cares about others.

I'm not sure why I wrote this, but I have just been thinking about a lot of things recently.

For instance, One of my good friends just deployed to Afghanistan and I found myself really caring for how he felt before he left and now I catch myself worrying about him and thinking about him. A lot.

Also, I have had dreams with my Grandfather appearing and every time I wake up I remember the message that was said the day of his funeral. And the preacher said, "What will your name mean to others?"

I hope I have made a difference in someone's life and if I have not, I will. That is my goal in life. That is who I am.